warning!    

this site is NOT optimised for mobile. if you're on mobile or the site is otherwise difficult for you to navigate, please check out my carrd instead.

furthermore, some optional sections of this site contain flashing imagery. there are more warnings as you reach them, but please keep this in mind as you browse and if you're susceptible to this sort of thing, keep yourself safe!

> i understand - let me in

> i'd like to see your carrd instead